2.The Gift
Waldo jeffers had reached his limit. it was now mid-august which
meant that he had been separated from marsha for more than two
months. two months, and all he had to show was three dog-eared
let
And two very expensive long distance phone calls. when school
had ended and she'd returned to wisconsin, and he to locust,
pennsylvania. she had sworn to maintain a certain fidelity, she
would d
Ccasionally, but merely as amusement. she would remain
faithfull.
But lately waldo had begun to worry. he had trouble sleeping at
night and when he did, he had horrible dreams. he lay awake at
night, tossing and turning underneath his pleated quilt
protector,
Welling in his eyes. as he pictured marsha, her sworn vows
overcome by liquor and the smooth soothing of some neanderthal,
finally submitting to the final caresses of sexual oblivion. it
was mo
An the human mind could bear.
Visions of marsha's faithlessness haunted him. daytime fantasies
of sexual abandon permeated his thoughts. and the thing was they
wouldn't really understand how she really was. he, waldo, alone,
Rstood this. he had intuitively grasped every nook and cranny of
her psyche. he had made her smile, and she needed him, and he
wasn't there. (ahhh....)
The idea came to him on the thursday before the mummers' parade
was scheduled to appear. he had just finished mowing and etching
the edelsons lawn for a dollar fifty and had checked the mailbox
E if there was at least a word from marsha. there was nothing
more than a circular from the amalgamated aluminum company of
america inquiring into his zoning needs. at least they cared
enough to
E. it was a new york company. you could go anywhere in the mail.
Then it struck him, he didn't have enough money to go to
wisconsin in the accepted fashion, true, but why not mail
himself？ it was absurdly simple. he would ship himself parcel
post special deli
The next day waldo went to the supermarket to purchase the
necessary equipment. he bought masking tape, a staple gun and a
medium sized box, just right for a person of his built. he
judged that
A minimum of jostling he could ride quite comfortably. a few
airholes, some water, of course, midnight snacks and it would
probably be as good as going tourist.
By friday afternoon, waldo was set. he was packed and the post
office had agreed to pick him up at three o'clock. he'd marked
the package 'fragile', and as he sat curled up inside, res
The foam rubber cushioning he'd thoughtfully included, he tried
to picture the look of awe and happiness on marshas face as she
opened the door, saw the package, tipped the deliverer, and then
o
It to see her waldo finally there in person. she would kiss him,
then, maybe they could see a movie. if he'd only thought of this
before. suddenly rough hands gripped his package and he felt hi
Barne up. he landed with a thud in a truck and then he was off.
Marsha bronson had just finished setting her hair. it had been a
very rough weekend. she had to remember not to drink like that.
bill had been nice about it though. after it was over he'd said
t
E still respected her and, after all, it was certainly the way
of nature, and even though, no he didn't love her, he did feel
an affection for her. and, after all, they were grown adults.
oh, wh
Lly could teach waldo - but that seemed like years ago.
Sheila klein, her very, very best friend walked in through the
porch screen door and into the kitchen.
'oh god, it's absolutely maudlin outside.'
'i know what you mean, i feel all icky!' marsha tightened her
cotton robe with the silk outer edge. sheila ran her finger over
some salt grains on the kitchen table, licked her fingers
Made a face.
'i'm supposed to take these salt pills,' but she wrinkled her
nose, 'they make me feel like throwing up.' marsha started to
pat herself under the chin, an exercise she'd seen
Elevision. 'god, don't even talk about that.' she got up from
the table and went to the sink where she picked up a bottle of
pink and blue vitamins. 'want one？ supposed to be bett
An steak.' and attempted to touch her knees.
'i don't think i'll ever touch a daiquiri again.' she gave up
and sat down, this time nearer the table that supported the
telephone. 'maybe bill will call.' she said to sheil
Lance. sheila nibbled on a cuticle.
'after last night, i thought maybe you'd be through with him.'
'i know what you mean, my god, he was like an octopus. hands all
over the place.' she gestured, raising her arms upwards in
defense. 'the thing is after a while, you get tired of
Ing with him, you know, and after all he didn't really do
anything friday and saturday so i kind of owed it to him, you
know what i mean.' she started to scratch.
Sheila was giggling with her hand over her mouth. 'i'll tell
you, i feel the same way, and even after a while,' here she bend
forward in a whisper, wanted to,' and now she was lau
Very loudly.
It was at this point that mr. jameison of the clarence darrow
post office rang the door bell of the large colored stucco frame
house. when marsha bronson opened the door, he helped her carry
the
Age in. he had his yellow and green slips of paper signed and
left with a fifteen cent tip that marsha had gotten out of her
mothers small beige pocketbook in the den.
'what do you think it is？' sheila asked.
Marsha stood with her arms folded behind her back. she stared at
the brown cardboard carton that sat in the middle of the living
room： 'i don't know.'
Inside the package waldo quivered with excitement as he listened
to the muffled voices. sheila ran her fingernail over the
masking tape that ran down the center of the carton. 'why don't
yo
K at the return address and see who it is from？'
Waldo felt his heart beating. he could feel the vibrating
footsteps. it would be soon.
Marsha walked around the carton and read the ink-scratched
label. 'god, it's from waldo.'
'that schmuck!' said sheila.
Waldo trembled with expectation.
'you might as well open it,' said sheila. both of them tried to
flip the stable flap.
'ah,' said marsha groaning. 'he must have nailed it shut.' they
tagged at the flap again. 'my god, you need a power drill to get
this thing opened.' they pulled aga
Quot;you can't get a grip!' they both stood still, breathing
heavily. 'why don't you get the scissors,' said sheila. marsha
ran into the kitchen, but all she could find was a litt
Wing scissors. then she remembered that her father kept a
collection of tools in the basement. she ran downstairs and when
she came back, she had a large metal cutter in her hand. 'this
is
Est i could find.' she was out of breath. 'here, you do it. i'm
gonna die.' she sank into a large fluffy couch and exhaled
noisily. sheila tried to make a slit between the masking
And the end of the cardboard, but the blade was too big and
there was not enough room. 'g-damn this thing!' she said feeling
very exaspe- rated. then, smiling 'i got an idea.＆quo
Uot;what？' said marsha. 'just watch,' said sheila touching her
finger to her head.
Inside the package, waldo was transfixed with excitement that he
could hardly breathe. his skin felt prickly from the heat and he
could feel his heart beating in his throat. it would be soon.
Sheila stood quite upright and walked around to the other side
of the package. then she sank down to her knees, grasped the
cutter by both hands, took a deep breath and plunged the long
blade th
The middle of the package, through the middle of the masking
tape, through the card-board through the cushioning and right
through the center of waldo jeffers head, which split slightly
and cau
Ittle rhythmic arcs of red to pulsate gently in the morning sun.
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